Weblog
Monday, 21 July 2008
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Currently Gaming
Rock Band Special Edition Xbox 360
By MTV Games
see relatedFINE. I AM THE ULTIMATE HYPOCRITE.
You know, I knew this day was coming. You know that feeling where you are in the middle of mouthing off on something and just know that somewhere deep down in your mind something triggers and you know that you will be unable to cash in that check that your big mouth is in the process of writing. It might have been when they released the first flash based Nano. There was that sneaking suspicion that they were starting to do things right and correct problems from the earlier ipods. Maybe it was when the intel powered Macbooks were announced signaling the admission from Apple that the aging PowerPC platform was truly dead. Maybe it was the unix based OS X blast signaling the first serious shot across the bow of the M$ giant. More then likely though it was when the first iPhone was announced about a year ago. Despite the obvious issues with the device centering around cost of entry and slower WWAN data speeds it was clear the device was designed well and would have a major impact on the smartphone market. I knew it was the beginning of the end however. If you traced the upgrade paths of the their past devices you knew that the planets would align and that the pefect iPhone would be coming and it would be here soon....
That day arrived on June 9th 2008 when the 3G iPhone was announced. The day I became an iPhone fanboy and thus the thing I despise most in this world; a big dumb ass hypocrite. Fast forward to July 17th where I completed my circle of self loathing and hypocrisy at the Mall of America in Minneapolis, MN where I in fact purchased TWO of the devices for myself and Catigerz. I even asked for TWO of the pretty little bags. Somebody please just put the proverbial bullet through my skull now. I botox-smiled my way through the process of activation which was not all that bad despite the fact I ported one number, created a family account with that accursed company AT&T (hey look another scoop of Hypocrisy pie for me PLEASE!) and setup a new account all in the comfy confines of that Apple store. I didnt even mind my friendly Genius helper whose Amercrombie & Fitch shirt and slacks combo defied all sense of corporate mandates yet was dripping in it at the same time. I think his name was Brad which has a sick sense of irony that will not be lost on those that know me.
Before I knew what hit me I was 5 hundy lighter, indebted to those A-holes at ATT for two years and paying a hellava lot more for my cell phone bill now. And you know what? I was smiling the whole way out of that place.
Okay now that I have got that out of my system I don't wanna hear nothing from nobody. I like Apple now so whoopty-freaking-doo. I will return soon with another post on what hopefully will be a return to my usual theme of once a year blasts on anything and everything that is pissing me off for one reason or no other at that given moment but for now all hail the iPhone..............................................................................................................................
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(But seriously whats up with the battery life and crippled bluetooth???? Ahhh, I kid!)
On a lighter note I want to thank my awesome cousins for the great time in Minnesota this past week! See my FB for my side trip I like to call "Mary and Donnie go to White Castle" It was an awesome time visiting with all the family and hanging out with the perfect cousins. Mall of America was great, all the family chinese food wasd delicious and the Metrodome was both awesome and awful at the same time. But seriously, casinos with NO CRAPS!??!?! Get it together you silly native american indians.
Quick Crap:
- Dark Knight probably the best superhero movie EVER.
- BlackJack still sucks
- Airsoft game on August 10th in Modesto if anyone is interested
- Gev and Kherington got screwed on SYTYCD.
- Terminator and Watchmen trailers. FTW.
Out suckas!
-Dan from Grim Reaper Gutters
Wednesday, 05 September 2007
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Currently Gaming
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
By Nintendo of America
see relatedI hate Apple and Steve Jobs
Haha, that is funny how my last post was in April of 2006... NOT 2007 which at least would have been acceptable if not overly slacker-y but hey what you gonna do???I am not even going to try to bridge this gap of a year and a half because honestly I have no flippin clue what the hell has happened in the last 18 months so I am just going to power on through with a series of thoughts based on a faint recollection of some half baked memories that I still have active in my brain NACELLES. I actually saw that word used in the real world the other day and not be contextually related to a bad star trek joke. Go figure, who knew it was a real word???The word nacelle is derived from the Old French nacele, which means a small boat or dinghy, which was in turn derived from the Latin navicella.And all this time I thought that Jean-Luc Steward and Johnny Boy Frakels were just making shit up...Anyways the main reason I felt like blogging again was to try to keep up with my batch of too-smart-for-their-own-good cousins of mine that I recently had the fortune of seeing again for the first time in what seems like forever. (EXCEPT FOR MARY! WISH YOU COULD HAVE BEEN THERE!) That is right my friend(s), Catigerz and I actually went on a real vacation to China and Hong Kong last month and it was definitely a blasty. I won't bore you with the details or my take on things as it is told in much better detail (and with pretty pictures!) at my sisters Xanga site here:TEH FUNNY! (GO NOW! Much funnier stuff then you will find here....)I can pretty much sum up the trip in these words:- awesome cousins- drunk karaoke- roasted pork- dad is the Mao- happy 80th Apo- packaged meat- cheating chinese basketball playersAnyways I just wanted to say thanks again to all my cousins and family for making it the best vacation I have ever had. Thanks LiYan, Diana, Sandy, Ben, Justin, Alex and Annie!!!!So my main gripe today was the Apple sideshow announcing their latest iteration of consumer p0wnage:The new line of iPods. Take 45,768,201.Don't get me wrong, I actually like the iPod. And all of the subsequent hellspawn that spew forth from that first abomination of technology way back in 2001. That's right 2001. A scant 6 years ago. Now you are probably thinking what I am thinking:" How in the hell did they manage to release 45,768,201 different versions of the ipod in only 72 months?... man I can sure go for a baconator cheesburger right now...I wonder if there is a new Colbert report on TV tonight....need to feed Melllvar when I get home...man she is a fat turtle...how does she get up on that rock?..."Okay maybe that is not what you are thinking but I am sure the real number will actually surprise you:36.36 unique models of iPods have been released since the first unit was available NOT counting the special edition ones that has you paying 50 more bones for a Hogwarts Emblem or U2 color scheme. Is it just me or does anyone else think that is INSANE? That works out to about 1 new model every two months for the last 6 years. And I bet that a good number of you Apple heads out there have every single one. Maybe you are the Uber MacHole that also has every color of all the various models that Or perhaps you are that special McrackAddict-C that has all that plus the limited edition Modonna, Beck, No Doubt, Harry Potter and U2 models.The fact that this guy is continually able to pawn off half-assed electronics to the general public at an average markup of 64% and still have people claim it as the 2nd coming of Jesus in portable music form just makes me crazy despite horrible battery life, faulty hard drives, non replaceable batteries, and cut rate electronic connections.This is an actual quote from the Jobs during a TV interview:"If you always want the latest and greatest, then you have to buy a new iPod at least once a year."This guy is so brazen that he can get away with saying shit like that and STILL have the consumers flocking to line up at those pretentious Apple Stores and refusing to ask questions at the Genius Bar because they are intimidated by the Ambercrombie and Fitch wearing MacFoolios.HELLO???? That is the same dude that was serving you a teriyaki bowl at Panda Express last year and forgot the goddamn extra teriyaki sauce before the Apple store opened up and converted him into a MacFoolio. WAKE UP PEOPLE!Oh, but I am sure they know what they are talking about according to Senior Vice President of the Apple Store chain Ron Johnson:"The retail store is notoriously tougher to be hired at, than to be accepted by Stanford University"Sounds like an asshole filter to me!Anyways my main point I wanted to make was simply this:There are a lot of things about the ipod to like, don't get me wrong. Hell, I have bought two for Catigerz. They pioneered and fixed a lot of things that were screwed up in the portable music player industry mainly the UI, form factor and controls but at the same time we have to make sure that we as consumers pay attention to the not-so-good things of the iPod and other products as well and not just blindly purchase what they send down the pipe as the next big thing or else you will just end up buying the same problems over and over again without them having to fix it. A little competition for your dollars never hurts, you just end up with better products overall.Now excuse me as I have to go refresh the apple site over and over again until the iPod Touch is available....- Time Lincoln
Friday, 14 April 2006
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Currently Gaming
Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror (PSP)
By Sony Computer Entertainment
see related"I can't wait until I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff."
Why the hell was I writing about the Matrix in my last post? Damn that shit was out over 2 years ago and there I am blathering on about it....BOOOOO to me for that shite. You know it has been far too long when you read your last xanga post and found yourself mildly entertained by your own pointless musings.So uh yeah, to recap: Got in an accident (doh!), new year is here (yawn), marketing still sucks (booo...), PSP games are still being hacked (hooray!), Warriors are the Warriors (oh snap!), Giants are on the air ( "and the crowd goes wild!"), moved to QA engineering (thank god), possibly ate the most food in one single day then I had in my entire life (although there was those wontons that one day...oh snap, ma bellay!), discovered new found love of Cheez-Its (again.), golf is still the devils game(ass!), smacked Yelli around (fun!), Evo is back (double yay!), spoiler needs to be replaced and nobody wants to own up (DOH!-DOH!) and last but certainly not least the RAIN CAN BITE ME.Wow my life is more interesting then I thought...yeah, take that my so-called life!Anyways I had meant to blog about many interesting and cream filled topics over these last few months but as I sit here and pick through the tumbleweed strewn westeland that is my brain I can see this is going to be an exercise in futility so I am going to just drop some junk on random to the extreme. How's that english for ya bitches!Burger King has a Mcgriddle wanna-be and damn does it look tasty. I can feel the Mcbubblies now. Although that F'ed up BK king is still freaking me out. I KNOW that he is just a marketing tool but is it weird that I am scared to go to BK because i think that the one time I go in that he might just be there with in some promotional event when he beheads the Hamburglar and kicks Jack from Jack in the Box's balls in? Serious I think I would freak out. AFTER I eat my breakfast sandwhich of course.I am seriously contemplating sabotaging my PC at work over and over again so that the IT dept will not take my notebook away. Time to get creative. Or just throw some huge magnets in the case and roll it around for a few. Yeah that should do it.They brought back the berry limeade drink at Red Robin. While this is a pretty insignificant occurence to most people, (and by all rights it SHOULD be for pretty much all of you) for me it is kind of a holy grail moment. You see I like lemonade. I like lemonade A LOT. I mean I think I have a problem or something because it is not just that I like drinking lemonade, I like reading about new types of lemonade, seeing pictures of tall glasses of fresh lemonade, I get entertained by seeing lemonade represented in any type of media even if it is just a lemonade stand in a Peanuts comic strip, thinking of new types of lemonade flavors that are not out (yet), trying to guess the type of lemonade somebody in a movie is drinking and eating any kind of lemon candy I can find. So anyways you get the picture, I like lemonade.Well, over the years I have always had this thing of mixing all types of other refreshery liquids (booyah! take that english!) into lemonade to either:1.) Make good lemonade even better.2.) Make thin or crappy lemonade good-er.3.) find that magical combination of lemonade ingredients that can eventually lead to a franchise of restaurants based on my magical lemonade drink where all purveyors of lemonade drinks can go to and celebrate and eat bad food because you know, its all about the lemonade.Anything goes from simple Sierra Mist and Minute Maid Lemonade combo to an Assault Monster Energy/Sobe Adrenaline/Country Time lemonade brew. Don't try that one at home kids. But recently I have become more of a limeade kind of guy despite thinking that for the longest time that limes were lemonades bitch. Must be my seasoned taste buds yearning for something more refined or more likely that I have destroyed my taste buds from all the citric acid and lemonadey goodness so that all I can taste now is the awesome power of the lime. So Red Robin ran this promotion a couple months back where they had flavored limeades and I swear to you they were some of the best drinks I have ever had but like all good things in life my favorite drinks went away to that land of all promotional foods....ahhhh promotional foods....(cue dreamlike harp music fading up in to the clouds sequence)....Gone but not forgotten greats such as the McRib sandwich....the Arby's pizza mozzarella sticks...Red Robin Teriyaki wings....BK's Big King and beloved Italian and the not so much loved French chicken sandwiches....Wendys Montery Ranch Chicken Sandwich....and last but certainly not least the two titans of LTO (limited time offer..haha!) specials:McDonalds Super Size It optionAND.....MAKE IT BACON!!!Where was I???Oh yeah, anyways go get a verry berry raspberry limeade. You will not be dissapointed.Sorry for all the lemonade stuff. Next blog will be better. Not so lemonade-y. Maybe more limade-y. I think I finally found my topic for my website.-The Universal Remonster
Thursday, 03 November 2005
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Currently Gaming
PSP Star Wars Battlefront II
By Lucasarts Entertainment
see relatedLetdowns.That is just one of the things in life you have to deal with from time to time right? Now I am not talking about people here as that is a conversation for another day but more specifically I am talking about the commercial industry as a whole. I suppose it really is my own fault for standing in the path of the hype machines that corporations roll out trying to push and sell products solely on buzzwords and marketing fluff but what can I say? I like being a doe caught in the headlights sometimes.Let me try to get around to my point here and it really can be summed up in two words:Matrix RevolutionsMany of you may not know this (who am I kidding? All 2 people reading this already know because I gripe about the same shit all the time...) but I was a big fan of Matrix Reloaded as well as the original Matrix. Seriously, I was about as big of a fanboy to the utmost extreme nerdiness that one could achieve with a singular piece of sci-fi medium. At the same time that everyone was bashing the hell out of this movie I was saying:"One of the best sequels ever....""Building up to be one of the greatest trilogies of all time""The W. brothers are geniuses...they are going to blow peoples minds with the third one""You are all stupid and cannot comprehend the scope of what is going to be the cinematic equivelent of a nuclear bomb when the third movie comes out""all your base are belong to Neo.""Quit calling my mother that, you donkey punching retard."(I really need to stay away from the IMDB forums....)Honestly though, with the world they had created and the story line they had started in parts 1 and 2 the possibilities on where they could go with the story were LIMITLESS. There was chance that we could have been witness to something so groundbreaking and so compelling that it could have redefined they way we think about movies and elevated it to legendary status.I waited with baited breath....I scoured the forums and read all the theories of my fellow nerdlings and Zion-ites...I spread the gospel of what was to be the greatest thing since cheese-dogs...I counted the days until the release....I pre-ordered tickets for a midnight showing from the Dango despite a midweek release.....We waited in line with said nerdlings and Zion-ites (which got me to wondering and hoping that they still had deoderant in the city of Zion?)....and waited for the sweet embrace of a "Magic Movie Moment" that I would be able to tell somebody else's grandkids about some day......And then the movie hits.In the words of the Hulk....DONNIE.........ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I was not so much as angry as I was homicidal. Seriously, I never wanted to "JFK" two people as badly as I wanted to at that moment then at any other time in my life. The fact that I had been roped in as badly as I was was the most appalling thing. I bought the freaking "Enter the Matrix" video game despite knowing that the game was crap for crying out loud. And you kno what the worst part is? I AM STILL FALLING FOR THE HYPE ON THIS SHIT. I bought the 10 disc box set of all the movies even though I already had 7 out of the 10 discs. I guess I thought there would be a "Special Edition Super Better Not Suck Ending he/she Directors Cut Version" of Matrix Revolutions. At the very least a fucking apology letter or something tucked in there would have been nice. Or candy. Candy is always nice.In addition I am seriously looking at the new "Path of Neo" video game. Apparently this is being produced by a much better video game company and that you will be able to fight through all the kick ass scenes from all three movies and....surprise, surprise! There will be an all new ending to the Matrix story as we know it.Sign me up and put an S on my chest for Sucker. Or Snickers. I like candy.So anyways, people have told me that I should just not have any high expectations for anything so that when something dissapoints or is a letdown it will not matter as much or be that big of a deal. As much sense as that makes, the problem I have with that is that without experiencing such extreme letdowns in life you would not be able to appreciate the times that something exceeds your expectations. Return of the King is a perfect example of this. I rode that hype wagon about as hard as I did with the Matrix and that definitely lived up to the hype. Of course the problem there is that you get about 1 "exceeds expecations" for every 50 letdowns, but oh, how sweet it is when you get that that ONE.This is kinda boring and more of a rant but what brought this on was that I an getting that feeling that I am going to be letdown again as I finally got around to start watching Episode III and am about 45 mins into it and thinking that the crown for best trilogy is still safe and sound with LoTR. (true nerds know to use the small "o")But hey, you never know.....-The DumbassahedratronP.S: Ha! See what game I am playing above?? The Hype machine rolls on!
Thursday, 06 October 2005
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Currently Gaming
PSP Madden NFL 2006
By Electronic Arts
see relatedAll right suckas, time to rise and shine dirtbags because its time to hit the ground running!Okay, you know when you run into one of those times in your life where need to make a REALLY important decision and you are doing your best to go over the pros and cons, get opinions from those around you, roll it around in your head about how exactly each choice will pan out, etc....well I am sick of going over it. I mean it. I usually do not try to hang on and be indecisive about something for too long because the longer I take the more it will affect that big squishy mass sloshing around up there in my skull. (Anyone else get grossed out thinking about BRAINS???)Yeah anyways so I have decided to pull a Ross. Only problem is that I don't have a magic fucking 8 ball in my house. Why the hell does greel08 no have a goddamn magic 8 ball??? What the HELL!?!?! WHEN"S GONNA BE MY TIME?!?!?!?uh, yeah. So anyways I am going to let this fucking George Washi....Tom Jeffer...Woodrow Wils.....GODDAMNIT WHICH F'N DEAD COMMANDER IN CHIEF IS ON THE FRIGGIN PENNY?Well whoever the hell he is I am leaving it up to him. Here we go:...........................Um, note to self. Don't leave life altering decision to a flip of a penny when your damn cats are sitting around waiting to bat clean out of the air whatever you to toss at them. I will however stop and appreciate the fact that it landed in the fud bowl so I cannot even venture a guess as to what side the penny decided to lean on. Damn now the moment is passed and I have to go back to THINKING about my decision again. My poor squishy, wrinkly brain....(ewww. brains.)Anyways onto some (hopefully) more interesting stuff.Congratulations to Mr and Mrs Dopeman on the new house. The thing is gorgeous and we cannot wait to crash the place for some good times.In other news, I left my dying Nokia Ngage QD in the jeans when laundry time came around so it is now officially time to hunt for a new phone. The problem is that all the damn phones on the market are teh suck right now so I will have to go into full investigative consumer mode now to weed out the best phone for what hopefully will be a good price.I missed going to my 10 year high school reunion this last Sat and I cannot tell if I am happy or sad about that. On one hand it would have been great to see some old friends that I have not seen for a long time but on the other hand I have never actually tested how long I can hold onto a shit-eating grin and give a "work-laugh" for extended periods of time. Oh well there are always 15 and 20 year reunions I guess....Really off topic (well not REALLY if you notice how much I jump around) but that Burger King Meat'normous Sandwhich looks like the best thing to hit breakfast since the McGriddle and Sausage McMuffin. Note my fine choices for the great american breakfast meal. Although I WILL recommend that they throw a couple of hash browns in there between the bacon and sausage....Ah patent pending alert! Better not steal my idea you weird-ass, freakishly looking king made of plaster of paris! Damn now I really want one of those sandwhiches with hash brown goodness a'la greel08.Anyways, enough daydreaming of executive decisions from dead presidents, akward teenage youth and meatnormous/hash brown breakfast sandwhiches for one night.I bid you adieu....-Brownie MonsterOh and just to bring up the rear....(drumroll please....)5 weird things you probably don't know about me.5.) My first computer was an AMIGA because I was tricked into buying it. I convinced my dad to spend 2 grand on it and am ashamed at how stupid I once was about computers.4.) That one day I would like to live on a farm far away from technology and civilization....as long as I can still receive DirecTV.3.) That if I had to protect a loved one, I would have no problems killing somebody.2.) Sometimes I like to sit perfectly still in the quiet darkness with my eyes closed and try to imagine what it would be like to be dead but still have your thoughts active.AND1.) I obviously cannot spell SANDWICHI tag.....oh wait I was the last one. Damn I suck.....
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